I’ve always been a bit nervous about developing the “God Complex” or even coming off as if I have. I love to learn and beginning to think I’m addicted to school. At times when I talk about school though, I feel others may think I’m trying to overachieve in spite of others or pursue the credentials that would validate smart aleck, know-it-all statements. Regardless, I have always been taught that being humble comes before anything else & life has done a great job of making sure I keep that in mind. But as a middle child in a very large family I always have been the neutral peacemaker so the statement, “don’t take it so seriously”, is very much apart of my vocabulary.
The last year I have been on a mission to let go of expectations, try and take my sister’s advice to “stop caring about what I think other people think” and just get back to that person I was meant to become. My goal is confidence and my reward will be confidence!
These chapters explain how even as an authority we have to remember that mistakes happen, that we should own & acknowledge, and that we can still learn. The author describes implementing a “white sheet practice” to receive constructive criticism from his students which I personally think is intelligent. Accepting that we aren’t perfect and take criticism as a simple note to what we still have to learn, people are more willing to do the same around you and relate to you as person.
They go on to justify how balancing your “selves”, calculating & central, can help with acceptance and positive dealings with others. Your “calculating” self looks out for only you & “central” self is open to influence. With a balance you can learn to not only accept mistakes you’ve made but that you will continue to make them & deal with them easier. In doing so, you learn to look at the world not as your enemy but an adventure. Be a little more open to imperfection; let some things go, because it really is not that serious.
With these practices eventually you can get to a point where your thinking becomes more positive in many areas of your life. When you start accepting things for what they are, that vicious habit of “downward spiral” aka “negative” speaking and thinking will diminish as well. You begin to focus on what is rather than what should be leading to…
Opening your self up to follow your passion. The authors do a great job with examples of how to notice, “what you are holding back & let go” then learn to participate with your whole being. Basically not letting negative thoughts, your inhibitions, or other’s & your expectations keep you from being that person you want to be or know you can be.
Sometimes you just have to learn to go BTFI & “do you” (as my sister would say)!
"Knowledge of the self is the mother of all knowledge. So it is incumbent on me to know my self, to know it completely, to know its minutiae, its characteristics, its subtleties, and its very atoms."
~ Kahlil Gibran
Pictures Via 1,2
Us over-achieving middle children need to stick up for one another. Life has given us the opportunity to learn from those before us and responsibility to be an example to those behind us. We get it both ways. And if I've learned anything it's that we all make mistakes, but it's the best of us to learn from those mistakes. And to keep a sense of humor about it, that really pisses off the perfectionists.
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